3 Words Associates Want to Avoid Like A Plague

I always say to associates, you may feel like a caterpillar right now but I see a butterfly about to shed it’s cocoon. It might be easy for many associates to feel like caterpillars. They believe they are stuck and they don’t really matter. I have heard associates say, “I feel like a second class citizen in my firm. However, there are 3 words that every associate wants to avoid, so you don’t become stuck and feel like a victim.

While churn and burn is alive and well, in many organizations, refuse to be a victim. Keep your eye on the possibility of advancement despite any limitations you may face. Refuse to hang on to old excuses or ideas. To advance, stop thinking or saying the following 3 words.

3 Words You Want to Avoid

1. Don’t say: THEY

It becomes self-defeating to anyone who desires to advance always to use the word: THEY, as in pointing the finger. For example: “The reason I can’t advance is because ‘THEY’ did this or that.” or “THEY caused all of my problems.” While this may be somewhat true, it takes the focus away from you. When you concentrate on the actions you want to take, it becomes empowering.

We all are aware that opportunities may be limited by decisions made by firm management in many organizations. However, if you keep concentrating on “THEY” instead of what “YOU” can do, it will always slow you down.

Solution: Focus on yourself. Do the best you can do each day. Keep a positive attitude.

2. Don’t Say: I’m AFRAID:

While fear is a common and normal reaction to feeling overwhelmed by billable hours each day, each week, each month and each year, fear can not only slow you down; it will stop you in your tracks. Talking about your fears drains your energy. Transform fear into a passionate determination to conquer. Remember all of the deadlines and impossible schedules you overcame to finish law school and pass the bar. Make a plan and become clear about what you “CAN” do to advance.

Solution: I find that the exercise below helps: Write down your goal for advancement or promotion.

• Write down your goal for advancement or promotion.
• Note any obstacles that prevent you from achieving your objective.
• List what you CAN do. Perhaps you will need a supportive friend, a mentor or a coach to help you come up with a workable action plan.
• Each morning when you arrive at work, review your action plan and keep your focus on what you CAN do.

3. Don’t Say: I Can’t

Remove the words “I can’t” from your vocabulary.” Keep looking at your goal. Each day, consider the actions you CAN take. When you concentrate on your activity, it keeps up your morale, and you will continue to move forward.

We all know that unfair traditions within corporate America exist that keeps inequity in place. Instead of getting angry, complaining and feeling like a victim, you can empower yourself to do the best you can. Complaining always makes a situation worse.

Solution: Write down three things that you “Can” do

• Get 3 index cards
• Write down 3 things you can do each day to make you feel empowered.
• Take an action each day (no matter how small)
• Your Attitude Makes a Difference

You are a butterfly about to be released

Remember cocoons are always temporary.  It is not always easy but don’t succumb to the struggle. Giving in to the struggle results in your future looking bleak. Keep thinking and telling yourself that you can prevail over these adverse conditions and soar in your career. By making the decision that you are going to soar above your adverse conditions, you will enjoy going into work instead of dreading it.

Refuse to cry, “victim” and complain about what others have done to you. Human nature wants to either complain or stay angry. While anger can be an impetus for change, don’t stay upset. Anger can prevent you from achieving your goal because it will leak out when you least expect.

Many of my clients have had to watch their attitude, their facial expressions, and their body language. Oliver, an associate, admited, “Whenever I was angry or had a bad attitude, even though I didn’t say anything verbally, my expressions and body language could start an unspoken war at work.”

I always say that 90% of your communication is what you don’t say. If you are angry, disgusted or discouraged, don’t worry, everyone knows. That is why it is important to let go of your anger.

Be Determined to Win

You can either rise or allow a predisposition to feel sorry for yourself, to keep you stuck. You may need a little help, but the choice is up to you. Shed any caterpillar-like skin and become the butterfly. Refuse to accept any limitations you face. Refuse to hang on to old excuses or ideas. Refuse to let anything hold you back.

Your Attitude Makes a Difference

It is not always easy but don’t succumb to the struggle. Giving in to the struggle results in your future looking bleak. Keep thinking and telling yourself that you can prevail over these adverse conditions and soar in your career. By making the decision that you are going to soar above your adversarial conditions, you will enjoy going into work instead of dreading it.

Refuse to cry, “victim” and complain about what others have done to you. Human nature wants to either complain or get angry. While anger can be an impetus for change, don’t stay angry. Anger can prevent you from achieving your goal because it will leak out when you least expect.

Create a Supportive Team

There are Partners and managers who willingly encourage you to advance.

Create a support team among your peers.  Instead of viewing each other as competition, and begin to create a supportive team to encourage and support each other.  Become a unified force in your firm.”

We all know that there is power in numbers and strength in a group voice. Also, a group voice keeps the conversation alive.

Be Determined to Win

You can either rise or allow a predisposition to feel sorry for yourself, to keep you stuck. You may need a little help, but the choice is up to you.   Shed any caterpillar-like skin and become the butterfly. Refuse to accept any limitations you face. Refuse to hang on to old excuses or ideas. Refuse to let anything hold you back.

Pamela DeNeuve

Attorney – Coach for Increased Profits

★I Help Law Firms Increase Profits By Retaining Their Associates ★

Now accepting informal requests for weekly 35-minute informational calls with questions and answers:

https://calendly.com/pdeneuve

Or email me directly:  pamela@intrinsicsolutionsnow.com