3 Words Women Professionals Need to Avoid

Women Lawyers and corporate executives are like butterflies. They have shed their caterpillar-like skin, the role of secondary members of their firms and corporations.  But, there are 3 words professional women in any profession need to avoid.

While gender bias is alive and well, in many organizations, these individuals refuse to take a back seat. They continue to advance despite any limitations they face. Refusing to hang on to old excuses or ideas for their lack of advancement, they don’t say or think three particular words.

Meet Olivia

Olivia is a perfect example.   “I felt constantly overlooked at my firm. At first, I believed I had no options.”

Without realizing it, Olivia constantly said three words that sealed her fate. She said, “They had set it up so that we couldn’t advance. At first, we women just pretended like we didn’t want to advance because we were afraid. I said to myself, ‘What’s the use, I can’t beat this system. There is no need to even try’.”

There will always be dilemmas and resistance that can stop you. Check yourself and make sure that your personal fears and anxieties don’t slow you down. Also, remember that Rome was not built in a day. Change takes time, and it does not happen overnight. Persistent and consistent actions pay off in the long run.

On certain days, the struggle may seem impossible, and your future can look bleak. However, if you don’t give up, you can prevail.

There were three words that Olivia believed. You don’t want to think, let alone say out these words out loud.   These words keep you paralyzed and overcome with disappointment. Disappointments will come, but that is just a symptom of change.

3 Words to Avoid

1.  THEY

It becomes self-defeating to anyone who wants to advance always to use the word: THEY, as in pointing the finger. For example: “The reason I can’t advance is because ‘THEY’ did this or that.”   or “THEY caused all of my problems.” While this may be somewhat true, it takes the focus away from you. When you focus on the actions you want to take, it becomes empowering.

We all are aware that women’s opportunities may be limited by actions and decisions made by the a system that may encourage gender bias in many organizations. However, if we keep concentrating on this information, it will slow us down.

2.  AFRAID:

While fear is a common and normal reaction to change, it can stop you in your tracks. Talking about your fears drains your energy. Transform fear into a passionate determination to move forward. Be clear about what you CAN do to advance. I find that the exercise below helps:Write down your goal for advancement.

• Write down your goal for advancement or promotion.
• Note any obstacles that prevent you from achieving this goal.
• List what you CAN do. Perhaps you will need a supportive friend, a mentor or a coach to help you come up with a workable action plan.
• Each morning when you arrive at work, review your action plan and keep your focus on what you CAN do.

3.  Can’t

Remove the words “I can’t” from your vocabulary.” Keep looking at your goal. Each day consider the actions you CAN take. When you concentrate on your activity, it keeps up your morale, and you continue to move forward.

We all know that unfair traditions within corporate America exist that keeps gender inequity in place. Instead of getting angry, complaining and feeling like a victim, you can empower yourself to do the best you can.

Your Attitude Makes a Difference

It is not easy but don’t succumb to the struggle. Giving in to the struggle results in your future looking bleak. Keep thinking and telling yourself that you can prevail over these adverse conditions and soar in your career. By making the decision that you are going to soar above your adversarial conditions, you will enjoy going into work instead of dreading it.

Refuse to cry, “victim” and complain about what others have done to you. Human nature wants to either complain or get angry. While anger can be an impetus for change, don’t stay angry. Anger can prevent you from achieving your goal because it will leak out when you least expect.

Many of my clients have had to watch their attitude, their facial expressions, and their body language. Olivia admits, “Whenever I was angry or had a bad attitude, although I didn’t say anything verbally, my expressions and body language could start an unspoken war at work.”

I always say that 90% of your communication is what you don’t say. If you are angry, disgusted or discouraged, don’t worry, everyone knows. That is why it is important to let go of your anger.

Create a Supportive Team

There are more women Partners and managers who willingly encourage their hardworking “sisters” to advance.

Olivia goes on, “Some of the women at the top were almost afraid to help us because it might be considered favoritism. That began to change.   Women Partners and managers became confident enough to lend us a hand and to mentor deserving females within the organization.

Also, instead of viewing each other as competition, and we began to create a supportive team. We became a unified force in our firm.”

Many women all over the world are beginning to jump over the existing hurdles and are advancing their careers. These wise women are getting support, meeting in groups along with other employees who also want to advance. We all know that there is power in numbers and strength in a group voice. Also, a group voice keeps the conversation alive.

Olivia Wins

Olivia sums it up, “Thanks Pamela for helping me see that I did have options and opportunities. I am certain that I will advance in my firm. Once I realized what I was doing to hurt my chances of being promoted, everything changed. I inspired myself and my attitude and stopped being angry. Now, everyone at my firm knows that I intend to move up in the firm. Things at my office are now like night and day.”

You can either rise or allow a predisposition to feel sorry for yourself, to keep you stuck. You may need a little help, but the choice is up to you.   Shed any caterpillar-like skin and become the butterfly. Refuse to accept any limitations you face. Refuse to hang on to old excuses or ideas. Refuse to let anything hold you back.

Attorney Balance Your Life Coach

★Pamela Helps Attorneys To Revive Your Law Practice★

Time to Defeat:

★Burnout ★Stress ★ Anxiety ★  Depression ★ Addictions★ 

(20 Years Experience)

45 minute free consultation 

Click Link to schedule:   https://calendly.com/pdeneuve