Lawyers: Five Ways to Rescue Yourself From Perfectionism

Perfectionism can almost guarantee burnout, stress, unhappiness and depression in your law career.   Many lawyers NEVER think that what they do or even what their colleagues do is good enough!  These attorneys are constantly frustrated and on edge.

Rita, a partner is a perfect example, “Pamela, I continue to raise the bar for myself and those who report to me.  We are always tense and nothings goes like I planned.  I find it necessary to drink.  I need a lunch cocktail just to get through the day.”

Perfection and Lawyers

Perfectionism is the minimum standard for many lawyers, especially litigators. Lawyers do not give themselves the luxury of making even the smallest mistake. The constant pressure of “what ifs” hover over their heads, beating away, demanding more and more excellence until the lawyer disappears in the illusion of an impossible standard.

A law career seeking perfectionism means that life is an endless report card on accomplishments, appearances and standing in the legal community. When an attorney needs to get everything exactly right, it can be a threat to their ability to have longevity, satisfaction, and lasting success in their career.

Psychologists Weigh In 

Psychologists almost always consider perfectionism as a handicap. They note that perfectionists are prone to distress and often haunted by a chronic sense of failure, indecisiveness and subject to procrastination and shame.

I remember Chuck. He belonged to all of the major exclusive private clubs in his city. Chuck’s community involvement was stellar. He went above and beyond for his career and expected everyone who reported to him to do the same. He had no patience for mistakes or excuses.

 

Chuck’s perfectly starched monogrammed shirts, trophies of accomplishments around his office meant nothing when he was suddenly diagnosed with cancer. All of his mementos of his perfect life, the picture of his beautiful wife, and the trophies and awards from his successful career were taken one by one out of the office that he was never to return.

Perfectionism can be a fast track to unhappiness, illness or alcoholism. Unfortunately, depression, eating disorders, heavy drinking, tranquilizers, heartburn, indigestion, migraines and even ulcers often accompany those who try to be perfect.

Five Tips to Rescue Yourself From Perfectionism

Tip No. 1: Keep the focus on yourself and your own career

Perfectionists are very competitive. They spend too much time comparing themselves to others. Trying to one-up a colleague and spending an inordinate amount of energy trying to make sure that your accomplishments, possessions, and standing tower over others leads to a dead-end street.

Tip No. 2: Lighten up

I often say to my clients, you are not performing heart surgery. “Your demeanor and stress level is as if you have a heart patient on the table, and your mistake is a matter of life and death. ”

Keep your perspective.   In most instances, your case is not a matter of life and death. You will accomplish much more and increase your effectiveness if you stop stressing yourself out.

Tip No. 3: Stop focusing on avoiding failure

Life is full of risks. There are no guarantees. The only thing anyone can do is to perform their best. Spending your time avoiding failure is a negative orientation. Give your work the best you have to offer. When you work using the best of your abilities it does not include having migraines, indigestion, having to drink lots of alcohol or drugs just to get through the day. Focus on the task at hand completely in the moment without obsessing about the “what if’s.”

Tip No. 4: Admit that making mistakes and imperfections is human, and YOU ARE HUMAN

Lawyers who think that it is inexcusable to make a mistake try to force an inhuman standard on others to cover up their own imperfections.

The clinical view of perfectionism usually involves setting excessive and high personal standards.  These individuals are stringently evaluating their behavior in light of these standards. A perfectionist usually imposes their unrealistic standards upon others.

 Tip No. 5: Stop nitpicking yourself or others

Determine a realistic standard of excellence that includes your humanity, making mistakes, and learning from them. Allow others to also make mistakes. Lawyers who are most successful realize that practicing law is a journey and not a destination. They focus on improving each year that they practice, setting realistic goals and objectives. They keep in mind the longevity and enjoyment of their careers.

One of my favorite sayings is “Practicing law is a triathlon not a sprint.”  You can not complete a triathlon without pacing yourself.  All you can do is your best.

Are you ready to practice a sensible, forward-moving and progressive law practice? Admitting that you are not perfect is a PERFECT beginning.