Practicing law can be like taking up residence in a war zone, full of uncertainty, controversy, and surprises. When it looks like you can sense victory, something can go terribly wrong, and you might lose a case that you have been working on for months. Despite these stressful circumstances, lawyers walk around as if they have on an imaginary placard on the front and back that says, “UNAFRAID. It’s all in a day’s work.” Many attorneys, at one time or another, succumbs to these difficulties. You are never alone.
The legal profession is a culture that thrives on confrontation, dissension, and litigation. Including fear with practicing law is comparable to mixing oil and water. Because everyone must camouflage his or her fear, sometimes practicing law can be a lonely endeavor.
3 Classifications of Fear
Over the past twenty plus years, I began to classify fear into three stages or categories. Two categories of fear you want to avoid at all costs. But there is one stage of fear that you want to embrace like a best friend. The three stages of fear are:
Stage 1: Healthy Fear
Stage 2: Frustrating Fear
Stage 3: Debilitating Fear
The Code of No Fear
If an attorney does not befriend the healthy fear, the two types of unwanted fears can, over time, overpower the healthy fear. I will explain more about this later. For most lawyers fear is a bad word. They will not admit to themselves that they have any fear at all, despite a barrage of harsh conditions that they face and therein lies the problem. These attorneys usually adhere to an unspoken protocol:
- Display strength
- Act invincible
- Show no emotion
- Bluff when necessary
The lawyer who can smoothly pull off this protocol wins. Winning means to be a role model who is admired, respected by others and someone that younger lawyers may pattern themselves after. An attorney might tell himself or herself, I am strong, and I am invincible. What they are saying is “I have complete control over my emotions.” A revered lawyer may embody these characteristics at work and home.
Roger’s Panic Attacks
Roger laughs when he says, “When I was younger, I called myself, the “Ruler Of My Mountain.” During most of Roger’s career, he has been extremely successful.
Roger had been practicing law for over twenty years and in most peoples eyes he had achieved the pinnacle of success. What they didn’t realize is that over the years, Roger had suffered from severe panic attacks. “Pamela I don’t remember when they began. I’d wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat. I’ve been having nightmares this past year, but my panic attacks are getting unmanageable. I don’t understand it.”
“Roger,” I explained, You have repressed your healthy fear for so long, pushing yourself, expecting perfection beyond human capacity. You were bound to crack under such self-imposed pressure.”
A Solution
Thankfully, despite his secret panic attacks, Roger’s image at his firm remained intact. Being able to acknowledge his fears openly for the first time in years, Roger didn’t feel alone.
I continued, “When you don’t embrace your healthy fear, repressed fear doesn’t go away it builds up over the years. We have to go back and find out when fear began to break down in your law practice. Once we do that, we can identify the source of you panic attacks, help you overcome them and then give you a new framework to revitalize your practice and get it back on track.
Roger replied, “I never felt like I was afraid. I certainly would never have admitted it. In fact, I did a good job of hiding my fear from everyone, including myself until the panic attacks began. ”
“Yes Roger,” I said, “Therein lays the problem. You had panic attacks, another attorney expresses his fear through unresolved anger, another might drink or use drugs to cope, and still another becomes extremely depressed. Once an attorney can acknowledge their fear, they get a new lease on life.
Roger, you and I will begin by evaluating your fear so that you can embrace your healthy fear and ultimately benefit from a balanced law practice.
(Roger’s story will be continued in my next post)
About Pamela
Pamela DeNeuve-Attorney Balanced Life Coach
★Stress-Depression & Anger Management★Career Revitalization★ One Complimentary Strategy Call★www.boldandbravelegalladies.com
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Written by
Pamela DeNeuve-Attorney Balanced Life Coach
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