Lawyers may question themselves secretly as they relax raising a glass of comforting alcohol to their lips. They ask, “Am I a problem drinker or even worse an alcoholic?” Once warming liquid eases down the throat, calming the tension, quieting the stress and a gentle hum settles throughout his or her system, they tell themselves, “All this talk about lawyers and alcohol is much “to-do about nothing.”
Meet Boyd
Boyd loved to drink. Being a lawyer gave him many opportunities to drink, function at a high level while being successful. Enjoying large quantities of alcohol without any seeming consequences is called functional alcoholism. Boyd tells us all about it.
“Pamela even in high school, college and law school I could hang out with the best of them and hold my liquor. My friends used to tease me and said I had a wooden leg. I’d be lying if I said that this wasn’t fun. Sure I had hangovers, but that was all part of the game. Work hard, drink hard and be tough as nails. I was a man’s man and even better than that I was a sharp-witted and successful lawyer with all of the trimmings, a good law practice, a devoted wife, kids and a big bank account. It was everything I dreamed of, or at least that is what I told myself.”
Boyd continues, “Lately, I spend an inordinate amount of time concealing the alcohol on my breath. Maybe I drink more than the average person, but I still perform my work. This doesn’t sound like alcohol abuse does it, Pamela?”
An attorney wants to ask himself or herself am I a social drinker or has my drinking turned into alcohol abuse? Did you know that as many as 1 in 5 Lawyers experience the effects of alcohol abuse? This number is double the rate of the national average.
Biglaw
In Biglaw as well as solo practices, functional alcoholism can be easy for to achieve. In a Biglaw firm everything you do, you have an opportunity to be double-checked (to say nothing of the junior lawyers and support staff who will review the document as well).
What does functional drinking mean? It means that you determine the hours each day you must be stone-cold sober. You arrange your drinking around these commitments. In case you hadn’t noticed, regular drinkers do not have to juggle their work around drinking. A functional drinker makes their daily alcohol consumption a top priority. Either work or drinking switches places in the pecking order of importance according to work commitments.
“I can’t drink tonight because of an important client meeting in the morning.” or “I’d better go light on the alcohol because I have an extensive deposition tomorrow. or I’m going just to drink beers during the football game because my Monday is a killer.”
Meet Marlene
Women are even more vulnerable than men to alcohol’s toxic effects.
Marlene was guarded and was not proud of the fact that she depended on alcohol. “Yes Pamela, I drink every day. Probably, almost a bottle of wine but I do it at home. I try to hide it from my husband and children the best I can. You know, I put in a long day, and I put up with a lot of stress and abuse. Drinking takes off the edge and helps me get through the day. I drink a lot after everyone has gone to sleep. But, I rarely drink during the day or with my colleagues or clients. I keep my drinking hidden the best I can.”
Women’s bodies have more fat, which retains alcohol, and less water, which dilutes it, so women who imbibe the same amount as men their same size and weight become intoxicated more quickly. This difference in metabolism of alcohol may be one reason that alcohol-related liver and brain damage appear more quickly in heavy-drinking women than men.
The family suffers when there is heavy drinking in the family. I know about the pain and suffering I experienced with my mother. She died at the age of 44 due to complications to her liver due to her alcoholism. One night she got up to go to the bathroom and collapsed onto the floor. She never regained consciousness.
A Problem
The World Health Organization (WHO) reports that 2.5 Million individuals die annually from alcohol consumption. This number does not include the health and mental-related consequences that millions more suffer.
Many lawyers are alcoholics and don’t realize it. They believe that as long as they can show up to work, drive a car and function in the society that they are not alcoholics. Unfortunately, many think of an alcoholic as someone who has lost everything and lives under a bridge. There are many wealthy, high-powered lawyers on the brink of self-destruction, and they are in complete denial.
What is a High Functioning Alcoholic?
A high-functioning alcoholic is an individual who must have several drinks a day. If they go more than a few days without alcohol, they do not function well at all! If they go into withdrawal after a week, they more than likely have become entirely dependent on alcohol in order to function.
I have had clients who toughed it out for a week, white-knuckled it, irritable, on edge and angry the entire time. Once they endured a miserable week without alcohol, they always say, “See I told you, Pamela, I’m not an alcoholic.”
After what these attorneys deem as a successful experiment to prove they don’t depend on alcohol, they immediately return to drinking every day with a vengeance. Until, something happens like for example, the “shakes” in the morning when it takes a little “nip” to get the hands to stop shaking. Or, for instance, Boyd was shocked when his medical check up showed liver damage. A wake-up call may be a DUI, which could ruin one’s career or, not remembering how he or she arrived home safely.
What’s the Difference?
The big question is: when does regular social drinking turn into alcohol abuse and then when does alcohol abuse turn into alcoholism.
Alcohol abuse occurs when a person is not physically dependent on drinking but does exhibit problems with alcohol. Someone who abuses alcohol may drink too much and experience problems due to consumption such as poor performance at work, hangovers, driving while intoxicated or being unavailable for family members.
Alcoholism is when a physical, mental and emotional craving develops that can only get satisfied by having a drink. An individual can be either a daily drinker, where they cannot get by without getting alcohol in their system or, they can be binge drinkers who drinks heavily and completely unrestrained in periodic cycles.
A binge drinker has an internal timeline when this lawyer hits the bottle hard and drinks out of control. After a binge, these binge-drinkers put the bottle away until the next time when they allow alcohol to wreck havoc in their lives. When Rick, who practiced law in a small firm, had his periodic binge, his wife would find him passed out on the floor of the den or even scarier asleep behind the wheel of the car parked out in the garage.
An Opportunity for You
Symptoms of alcohol alcoholism and abuse can overlap. Lawyers who abuse alcohol may not experience the physical symptoms of alcoholism and may or may not have as strong a compulsion to drink. Here are symptoms indicate that alcohol abuse and or addiction is present. Take this opportunity to measure your alcohol consumption with reality. If you are:
- Unable to limit the amount of alcohol you drink
- Having a strong urge to drink
- Developing tolerance to alcohol so that you need increasing amounts to feel its effects
- Having legal problems or problems
- Complaints from family members
- Experiencing problems with work or finances due to drinking
- Involved in Cloak and Dagger drinking – drinking alone, hiding and secretly drinking
- Ignoring physical symptoms — such as withdrawal, nausea, sweating Shaking — when you don’t have a drink
- Blacking out – unable to remember incidents, conversations or commitments
- Finding yourself having a daily or weekly ritual of having drinks at certain times and becoming
- Becoming annoyed when this ritual is disturbed or questioned
- Losing interest in activities and hobbies that used to bring you pleasure
- Becoming irritable when your usual drinking time nears, especially if alcohol isn’t available
- Hiding alcohol in unlikely places at home, at work or in your car
- Gulping drinks, ordering doubles, becoming intoxicated intentionally to
- feel good, to cope or to feel “normal.”
Consequences
Over 76 million people are currently affected by alcohol use disorders, such as alcohol dependence and abuse.
Depending on the amount of alcohol consumed and the pattern of drinking, your proclivities can lead to drunkenness and alcohol dependence. It can result in disablement or death from accidents or contribute to depression and suicide. Moreover, it can cause chronic illnesses such as cancer and liver disease in those who drink heavily for many years.
Happily Ever After?
Boyd discovered how much his alcoholism had cost him. “I thought I had everything under control. I found out that everyone smelled my liquor, so I wasn’t fooling anyone but myself. My marriage is restored; I am a thousand times more efficient in my law practice. I didn’t realize how much my paralegal and secretary were covering for me. Of course, I was humiliated to learn about these things, but it was the wake –up call I needed.”
It took a health scare for Marlene to discover that she was in trouble. An emergency room visit revealed extreme damage to her liver. “Pamela I realized if I continued drinking at the same rate, I might not be around to see my children grow up. Now I realize I functioned in a haze from one drinking bout squeezing in work and family in between. I am much happier now, and my family relationships have improved dramatically.”
A Lawyers Dilemma
A lawyer doesn’t have a lot of time for traditional enjoyment, but you can pretty much drink with impunity without significantly hurting your job performance. There aren’t a lot of professions where that’s possible.
People assume that there’s some “natural” level of intoxication that is healthy and reasonable. I think that like many people, lawyers will have as much “fun” as they can get away with.
The Ball is In Your Court
No one can make you admit that your drinking has become a problem. The important thing is to intercept permanent damages or consequences before you incur some irreparable damage to your law practice, your family or your physical health.
The important thing is to see where your drinking is leading you. Compare your drinking habits today with five years ago, three years ago or last year. If your drinking is like a runaway train, it is time to have a confidential conversation with someone who can guide you and help you to get the assistance you need to break this destructive cycle before it is too late.
Pamela DeNeuve
Attorney Life Balance Coach
Pamela Helps Attorneys Revive Your Law Practice ★
Defeat: Stress, Anxiety, Depression & Addictions (20 years exper)
I’d love to chat with you for a few minutes about anything that is blocking your satisfaction and happiness affecting your law practice. I set aside time each week to speak with you. Just access my calendar below.
One Complimentary Strategy Coaching Session
Calendar link: https://calendly.com/pdeneuve
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