Lawyers spend most of their time and energy attempting to change their client’s lives for the better.
Unfortunately, while trying to manage other’s behaviors, they are too busy to take care of their own personal problems.
Happy lawyers are more profitable for their firm than unhappy practitioners. Happy and engaged advocates remain with their law firms.
Meet Mark
Mark, a successful senior partner at a mid-sized firm, was frustrated. He confessed to me, “Pamela, I have been doing the same thing for so long. I don’t get enough sleep, overeat and drink too much alcohol every night. I feel awful when waking up each morning. I realize that these habits hurts my law practice and lessens my productivity.”
He continued, “I am so used to feeling unwell. Weeks and months go by without my paying attention to how badly this destructive behavior is hurting me. When I go to see my doctor for my annual check up, he tells me to go on a diet, stop drinking so much and to exercise. It’s the same year after year, but now I’m older this is damaging my health. But I don’t know how to change.”
“Mark, I always say the same thing to my clients, “A happy, healthy lawyer
is a productive and profitable lawyer.
Mark scratched his head, “I notice that the secretaries, paralegals, associates, senior associates and junior partners who are most unhappy eventually leave. Truthfully, we are glad because they are not producing and certainly not profitable.”
“Exactly,” I said. “How you treat your health is always a good monitor of your happiness. When you find yourself frustrated or irritated for long stretches of time you are probably going down the wrong path.”
When lawyers – solicitors – advocates become aware of two stumbling blocks they begin changing and taking charge of their law practice, increase their energy and productivity.
Observation No. 1: Self-Sabotage
Behaviors that continue to cause emotional, physical, or financial distress can fit the clinical definition of neurosis, “to repeat behaviors over and over again while expecting a different result.”
Psychology Today defines self-sabotage this way: “Behavior that creates problems that interfere with long-standing goals.” Each of us has an internal thermostat that regulates how much love, happiness, and success we will allow ourselves.
Mark’s Self-Sabotage
When Mark went for his annual check-up, his doctor scolded him, “If you don’t lose fifteen pounds before this time next year, you are a prime candidate for a heart attack.”
Mark went home and told his wife he would only eat salads. He ate salads and fruit, cut down on his alcohol all weekend and enjoyed a walk with his wife. On Monday, he took a healthy lunch to the office that his wife had prepared.
When he walked into the lunchroom for a cup of coffee, without thinking, he grabbed two chocolate donuts. By the time lunch rolled around, he was starving he ordered fries, hamburger, and a big piece of pie and a beer. The cycle continued.
No. 2: Blind Spots
To remove painful behavior patterns and self-defeating behaviors, we must discover the real source of our problems. The actual source of our blind spots is our Basic Operating Principle (BOP). Our BOP is the coping mechanism we developed before the age of seven to adapt to our environment. Science tells us that our basic personalities are, for the most part, established by the time we are seven years old.
Once our coping skills are created within our families as a child, we continue to use these same survival skills learned at a young age even though they no longer serve us.
Our coping skills and survival skills are subconscious blind spots that cause us to stay stuck in behaviors that do not make any sense and are not in our best interest.
The problem is because they are blind spots we cannot stop ourselves from repeating these behaviors.
The Bicycle Versus the Learjet
Researchers point out that 95% of our thoughts are subconscious. Also, our subconscious mind operates with one million times more power than our conscious mind.
Further, the subconscious mind transfers information much faster. Think about it. Your subconscious causes your blood to flow, your heart to beat and your lungs to breathe without your input at all.
The speed of our subconscious mind is like a Learjet, compared to our conscious mind which is like a bicycle.
The subconscious mind, the Learjet processes forty million bits of information per second. The conscious mind, the bike transfers only forty bits of information per second.
Our conscious mind cannot compete. The bike cannot compete with the power of the Learjet on any level. If we don’t identify our true motives and agendas hidden in our subconscious mind, these blind spots direct our behaviors and lead to problems.
Mark Discovers His Basic Operating Principle (BOP)
It is evident that there was a blind spot, something hidden from Mark that caused him to jeopardize his health, his career, and his family.
Once any lawyer finds their Basic Operating Principle (BOP) their blind spot, they immediately begin to stop self-defeating and self-sabotaging behaviors. It is amazing to watch the happiness, enthusiasm, and love of their law practice return.
Mark, willing and motivated to do things differently, began to enjoy a new freedom, lightness, and ability to reach his goals.
“Pamela, it is wonderful to be excited to go into the office again. I enjoy practicing law; I am finding more clients, and my productivity is incredible. I am so glad my blind spot is no longer in charge.”
Making these changes will allow you to enjoy a long, satisfying, and successful career.
Make rest and sleep, relaxation and stress relieving activities a priority and force yourself to schedule time for your physical, mental and emotional
The choice is up to you.
Pamela DeNeuve
I Help Lawyers & Solicitors to Improve Profitability & Productivity
Email or Call Pamela to schedule an easy 20-minute consult to get you on your way to health, happiness and increased productivity
Schedule a chat with me at: calendly.com/pdeneuve
References:
“Self-Defeating Personality Disorder” in Diagnostic and Statical Manual of Mental Disorders (3rd Edition Revised). Washington: American Psychiatric Association 1987
Gay Hendricks, PhD, The Big Leap: Conquer Your Hidden Fear and Take Life to the Next Level, New York: HarperCollins 2009
Deborah Oliver, “Leonard Mlodinow on Subliminal: How Your Unconscious Mind Rules Your Behavior” Huffington Post, June 7, 2012, last accessed September 27, 2013
John A. Bargh and Ezequiel Morsella, “The Unconscious Mind,” Perspectives on Psychological Science, January 2008; vol. 3, 1:pp 73-79
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