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Pamela DeNeuve

Lawyer & Law Firm Peak Performance Strategist

Can a Wishbone Help Lawyers Soar to Success?

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Meet Ben

How can a wishbone help lawyers to soar to success:

Ben had a thriving law practice in Los Angeles, a wife who is a teacher and three active and strapping school-aged boys who would make any father proud. Although Ben was very productive in his work, his emotions bobbed in and out of hopelessness, worthlessness, and sadness.

“I just can’t explain it,” he said shaking his head. “Some mornings I wake up as if I have a sack over my head. I feel like there is nothing to look forward to. I have gone to psychiatrists, I take my medication, cut down on my drinking, but nothing ever changes. I feel embarrassed because I have so much to be thankful for but these feelings persist.”

I told him, “Ben the road out of depression is not easy, but it can be overcome. You could be genetically predisposed to depression, or struggling with a subconscious trauma that occurred early in your life, but you must find a wishbone.”

Ben looked at me like he couldn’t believe what I had said. “You make jokes about a wishbone when I pour out my darkest secret to you?”

How Commonplace is Sadness?

Sadness, hopelessness, and worthlessness are more commonplace than you would think. According to psychology today, when a random sample of people from every walk of life was asked the following question:

Question: Do you feel “sadness” all of the time or some of the time?

Response: 10.1 percent of a random sample (mirroring the nation’s population) said YES.

That means one in ten people who are sad more or less frequently. If you were on the freeway, at work or walking down the street and walked passed one hundred people, ten people would be sad.

What is a Wishbone?

A wishbone represents wishes, hopes, and dreams. When we were small children, my brothers and I would argue over who would get the wishbone, the forked shaped bone located right between the neck and breast of the chicken. We believed that a wish would come true to whoever broke off the largest half of the bone.

Why Lawyers Need a Wishbone

The question:  How can a wishbone help lawyers soar to success.

Statistically, lawyers have a higher-level depression with one out every four struggling with emotional or mental health. For these lawyers sadness is chronic. They have dropped into a bleak outlook without hope.

Practicing law is not an easy profession. There are pressures, long hours, and deadlines. Without wishes, hopes and dreams it is easy to get overwhelmed, anxious or depressed.

An attorney who loses hope falls into a pit of despair. It can feel like groping around in the dark. They cannot find lightness and can deal with sadness on a daily basis. Chronic depression is a terrible emotion to face.

Sadness is part of the human condition. Everyone will experience depression due to loss, disappointment some of the time. Many people can wake up on the wrong side of the bed, and for some unexplainable reason, have a bad day.

Lawyers Can Find Their Wish Bone

A wishbone helps you to look forward to the future. An attorney must look for something to be hopeful about out. Diligently seek something you can be optimistic about. Finding optimism can be hard work.

I remember Ben asked me, “How can I believe that there is goodness in my life and continue to focus on those things? I have gone to a psychiatrist, I take medication, but nothing seems to help.”

The Battle of Your Life

When I work with depressed lawyers, I tell them it can be a fight of their lives, but most can beat it. It is not easy; it is a battle at first.

You must be an active participant in finding your wishbone. Besides having your doctor review your medications, or continue counseling here are the beginning steps for lawyers to Soar to Success:

 

  1.  Reject the negative, fearful or unhappy images or thoughts that may bombard you.
  2. Use your wishbone and keep yourself expecting something good to happen.
  3. Write down something you can look forward to (on an index card even if you don’t feel or believe it) and read it several times a day.
  4. Learn how to retrain your thoughts. Counseling or coaching can help. Positive affirmations are very helpful.
  5. Carry a small book or an app of inspirational sayings that you enjoy and take a five-minute break and read them and breathe deeply.
  6. Limit if not abstain from alcohol because it is a depressant. Be careful about the foods you eat. Avoid sugar and other highly refined foods.
  7. Move your body, go for a walk, a run or force yourself to go to a gym many lawyers have fun taking an exercise class. Find a friend or support buddy to exercise with you.
  8. Learn to meditate. There are YouTube videos, apps for your phone and books and even meditation groups to help get you started.

Wake UP With Your Wishbone.

Form the morning habit of getting up and going for a walk, reading inspirational material, meditating going to an exercise class before work.

Don’t drag yourself into the shower and then sleepwalk through the first part of the day, or at least until noon saying to yourself, “Let’s see how my day turns out.”

Overcoming depression is not a passive activity.

Pick up your figurative wishbone when you get out of bed in the morning. It is important to remember that the way you begin the day sets the tone for your entire day. Waking up each morning in a positive mindset and is not a passive activity.

Take action. Find someone to support you to call in the morning to talkwith and clear your cobwebs. You can’t just drift hitting the snooze as many times as you can and finally drag yourself up, slamming down the coffee depending on the caffeine to help you have a good day.

Lawyers: Get in the Drivers Seat: Take charge of each morning. These actions will not only increase your profit financially but will help to lift you up to enjoy happiness, can profoundly enhance your marriage, your relationships with your children and in your community.

#Solicitor #lawyer #attorney #Barrister #Lawfirms #Biglaw #Stress #Depression #Engagement #Attrition #Goals #2017 #legalsupport #coach #consultant #adviser

“I help law firms and lawyers increase profits and engage their lawyers.” Pamela DeNeuve pamela@pameladeneuve.com904-607-1211    email me to get on the waiting list of my upcoming book: “12-Days To Boost The Love Life of A Lawyer.” (put “book” in subject of email)

Links: Psychology Today, “How Everyone Became Depressed” Sad, Worthless, Hopeless, Edward Shorter Ph.D., https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/how-everyone-became-depressed/201406/sad-worthless-hopeless

 

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