Is It A Game? Or, Is It A Battle?
Many lawyers believe that practicing law is a battle. This is a battle of the will, strength against any sign of weakness. Because of this, lawyers are great actors. They put on their litigation persona, and they have a desire to win above everything.
Edith, my client was in the middle of a long and drawn-out litigation case. She and the opposing counsel were moving along, and both seemed agreeable… until. When they began the discussion about settling the case, suddenly the calm opposing counsel became the JOKER! Yelling, posturing, and threatening. My client was shocked at his behavior.
Edith used science to retrain her brain in these situations. In the past, she might have crumbled, taken it personally, or felt like a failure. The Joker was playing a game, Edith had to keep her wits. She knew that the Joker’s tactic was to get into her head.
Later she got her perspective back. She looked at herself in the mirror. Edith committed to win and to create a good outcome for her client. She had to reposition herself as an authority in the case and accept intimidation as part of the game.
Many lawyers can’t stomach litigation. Some lawyers use bullying, intimidation, and anger to win. Once you understand all that is involved, you can detach from these seemingly threatening situations.
When lawyers fall into the trap of reacting, they find themselves trapped in emotions that don’t work. They react to opposing counsel, a judge, a colleague, a staff person, or even one’s spouse or a child (especially teenagers.)
If you are always reacting, you are not playing the game. You are letting the other person get free rent in your head and allowing the stress hormones to take over.
3 Pillars Using Science to Win
Here are three pillars to use neuroscience to win.
- Without realizing it, you consistently choose which chemicals you will load into your body each day. Your choice will determine your stress level. Lawyers become addicted to whichever chemical they habitually choose.
- Be aware if you mostly choose stress chemicals like adrenaline and cortisol. Adrenaline increases your heart rate, elevates your blood pressure.
- Become more effective in your law practice by learning how to choose the good-feeling chemicals: dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, and endorphins (sometimes referred to as D.O.S.E.).
Which Chemicals Will You Choose?
When the Joker realized Edith was not going to play his game, he became reasonable again. They were able to reach a fair settlement for all parties involved. Edith was proud of herself.
Edith said, “Pamela, in the past, I would have beaten myself up for the way I handled our first attempt to settle the case. I would have let him get into my head, and I would have lost my power. I’m not letting those chemicals like adrenaline and cortisol rule my thoughts and my law practice anymore.”
Do you find yourself running on adrenaline daily? Do you believe that being stressed out is a necessary part of the game of practicing law?
It will be wise to assess your knee-jerk responses. Admit to yourself if you are operating on the stress hormones much of the time.
TAKE ACTION and make practicing law an enjoyable and sustainable profession and play the game.
#lawyers #attorneys #lawfirm #litigation #neuroscience #coaching
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